Baltus once said that “ painting is a source of endless pleasure but also of great anguish”
“In every painting a whole is mysteriously enclosed, a whole life of tortures, doubts, of hours of enthusiasm, inspiration and emotions” (Kadinsky)
Anton Ehrenzwieg divided the creative process into three stages:..”the initial schizoid stage of projecting fragmented parts of the self into the work. The second(the manic ) phase initiates unconscious scanning that integrates art’s substructure but may not necessarily heal the fragmentation of the surface gestalt….Because the undifferentiated substructure necessarily appears chaotic to conscious analysis, the third stage, too often, is beset with severe anxiety ,it tend to be depressive, mixed with a sober acceptance of imperfection and hope for future integration..” A Process of rendering an idea and the almost nervous anticipation to transform the idea into an image , the enjoyment while forming the image on canvas or paper and often a feeling of disappointment when the image on the canvas does not match the one in your mind.
This all said, I stil paint, it is what I want to do, what I am driven to do, what I love to do
